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Что отличает военного от остальных двуногих? Многое отличает! Но, прежде всего, я думаю, — умение петь в любое время и в любом месте.
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«Есть», «так точно», «никак нет» и «ура! » — четыре слова, отпущенных военнослужащему. Как из них сделать кандидатскую диссертацию? Не понимаю
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Что такое флотский смех? Это когда по тебе промахнулись.
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Службу на флоте нельзя воспринимать всерьез, иначе спятишь. И начальника нельзя воспринимать всерьез. И орет он на тебя не потому, что орет, а потому что начальник — ему по штату положено.
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А что вы вообще можете, товарищ капитан третьего ранга, подводник флота Ее Величества России?.. Я могу все:От тамады до дворника,
От лопаты до космоса,
От канавы до флота!
Могу — носить, возить, копать, выливать, вставлять!
Могу — протереть влажной ветошью!
Могу — еще раз!
А Родину защищать?
А это и есть — «Родину защищать». Родина начинается с половой тряпки для подводника флота Ее Величества России и химика, извините за выражение
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Когда он получил своего «кап-два», он шлялся по пирсу пьяненький и орал в три часа ночи, весь в розовом закате, нижним слоям атмосферы:Звезда! Нашла! Своего! Героя!
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Вот так всегда: только подумаешь о начальнике, а он тут как тут. Ну, теперь расслабьтесь. На лицо — страх и замученный взгляд девочки-полонянки.Идите сюда!.. Ближе!.. Нечего трястись! Вы — кто?! Я вас спрашиваю: вы — кто? Я вам что? Я вам кто?! Кто! Кто?!!
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Военнослужащий выбирает себе одно неприличное слово и постоянно с ним ходит.
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Боже мой, сколько не сделано сколько не сделано а сколько еще предстоит не сделать
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