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Кстати говоря, как правило, настоящих котов зовут довольно-таки длинно. например: Брысьаттудапоганецэтакий, Мамаподкловаткойстлашилаплячется или Анечегобылоподногилезть
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Вид у кошки был плутоватый. Правда, это ещё ни о чём не говорило: у неё все время такой вид, она даже дышит так, будто тайком ворует воздух.
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Котам следует давать короткие имена, которые не стыдно выкрикивать по ночам на всю округу
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Сперва вы всем видом даете коту понять, что он вам глубоко безразличен, апройдет немного времени — и вы уже носитесь с ним, как курица с яйцом,
потому что ему вроде как нездоровится.
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С геометрической точки зрения кот — это цилиндрическая фигура с отверстием с одного конца.
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Чтобы избавиться от всяких котов, лучше всего обзавестись своим собственным.
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Настоящий кот мечтает об одном: прожить жизнь безмятежно, и чтобы люди поменьше в нее вмешивались. В этом он не слишком отличается от людей.
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Если вам попадется на глаза кот такой наружности, будто ему зажали голову в тиски и несколько раз двинули по морде молотком, обернутым в тряпку, можете не сомневаться: перед вами Настоящий кот.Кот, у которого уши подстрижены зубчатыми ножницами, тоже Настоящий. Беспородные некастрированные коты почти все Настоящие.
Самый Настоящий из всех Настоящих котов должен выглядеть так, словно он чудом выбрался из мясорубки.
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У многих котов прямо на морде написано, что они Настоящие. Если вам попадется на глаза кот такой наружности, будто ему зажали голову в тиски и несколько раз двинули поморде молотком, обернутым в тряпку, можете не сомневаться: перед вами Настоящий кот.
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Знаете ли вы, где пропадает ваш кот, когда уходит из дома? На всякийслучай справьтесь у соседей из дальних домов, нет ли у них кота того же
размера и окраса. А то чего только не бывает! Нам известны два семейства,
которые, сами того не ведая, оказались совладельцами одного кота. Изменщик
жил, что называется, на два дома, непрерывно курсируя от миски к миске.
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Наказывать Настоящих котов бесполезно: они никак не связывают наказание с преступлением. Чего удивительного, что двуногий бурдюк орет, швыряет в тебя шлепанцы по низкой траектории или громко и долго тебя отчитывает . Бурдюки — они все со сдвигом. В ответ надо лишь немного поежит
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Умением выживать в любых условиях настоящие коты умеют виртуозно. Назовите еще хоть одно животное, которое кормят не за то, что оно приносит пользу, охраняет дом или звонко щебечет, а потому, что наевшись, оно ходит довольное-предовольное. И урчит.
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Больше кота ничему не научишь. Совсем ничему. Те, кто думаетиначе, неверно истолковывают кошачьи повадки. Им кажется, что когда
наступает время утренней кормежки, коты послушно являются к ним под дверь,
потому что их так выдрессировали. С кошачьей же точки зрения, это двуногие
бурдюки приучены ровно в десять утра доставать из холодильника жестянку с
едой.
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Когда кота куда-нибудь везут, он сидит: а) в коробке или б) в оцепенении.
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