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Если жена становится вам подругой, пора предложить подруге стать вашей женой.
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Я женился на Анне, потому что она была ангелом — и именно по этой причине мы развелись.
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В двадцать лет я думал, что знаю о жизни все. В тридцать выяснилось, что я не знал ничего. Десять лет я потратил, чтобы узнать то, что потом придется выбросить из головы.
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Мужчина без женщины дичает: несколько дней одиночества — и он перестает бриться, мыться, урчит по-звериному. Человеку понадобилось несколько миллионов лет, чтобы прийти к цивилизации, а вернуться в неандертальское состояние можно дней за шесть.
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Смех надутыми губками, от которого сердце так и прыгает в грудной клетке, ставшей вдруг слишком тесной.
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Потом возвращался, совесть меня мучила, садился и смотрел на руку, которую раньше любил. Руку, которую я попросил у нее перед Богом. Руку, за которую три года назад отдал бы жизнь, чтобы вот так держать ее в своей.
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Анна садится в такси, я тихонько захлопываю дверцу, она улыбается мне из-за стекла, и машина трогается… В хорошем кино я побежал бы за ее такси под дождем, и мы упали бы в объятия друг другу у ближайшего светофора. Или она вдруг передумала бы и умоляла бы шофе
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Это ужасно, я сгораю со стыда, простите меня: однажды я поддался вульгарнейшему искушению побыть счастливым.
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Глаза у нее были молящие, скорбные, мокрые, ненавидящие, усталые, тревожные, разочарованные, наивные, гордые, презрительные и все равно по прежнему голубые.
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Когда Алиса целовала меня в мокрые щеки, она поняла, что я понял, что она видела, что я видел, что она смотрела на меня так, как она смотрела.
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Эпикур призывает жить одним днем, полнотой простого удовольствия. Вправду ли стоит предпочесть удовольствие счастью?
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Светские люди вообще одиночки, затерявшиеся в море смутно знакомых лиц. Они приободряются, пожимая руки. Каждый новый поцелуй – трофей. Они тешат себя иллюзией собственной значимости, здороваясь со знаменитостями, хотя сами в жизни ни черта не сделали. Бывать они стараются только там, где
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Ему надоело доказывать, что у него добрая и глубокая душа, вот он и строит из себя злюку и верхогляда, нарочно демонстрирует буйный, а то и грубоватый нрав.
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В твоем городе живет человек, который любит тебя и страдает, хочешь ты этого или нет. Лучше я буду повторять тебе это, чтобы рано или поздно ты уступила. Я останусь для тебя многотерпеливым влюбленным, тихой пыткой, непоколебимым искушением. Зови меня Танталом.
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Меня поражает это электрическое поле высокого напряжения – осязаемое, мерцающее, – возникающее вдруг между мужчиной и женщиной, которые даже не знакомы, без видимых причин, просто так, всего навсего потому, что они друг другу понравились и изо всех сил стараются себя не выдать.
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Надо выбирать: или ты с кем то живешь, или этого кого то желаешь. Нельзя ведь желать то, что имеешь, это противоестественно. Вот почему удачные браки разбиваются вдребезги, стоит появиться на горизонте первой встречной незнакомке. Женитесь хоть на самой красивой девушке на свете – всегда найдется но
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Брак не только стереотип, навязанный нам буржуазным воспитанием: это еще и предмет колоссальной идеологической обработки, к которой приложили руку реклама, кинематограф, журналистика и даже литература, всеобщее охмурение, которое в результате сводит мечты прелестных барышень кb
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Если я банален, значит, всечеловечен… Надо бежать от оригинальности, держаться вечных сюжетов… Осточертели интерпретации… Учусь искренности
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А потом, когда уже пора прощаться, вдруг прошибают эмоции. Мы сдерживаем слезы, но они все равно льются, только внутри, под нашими лицами. Ее детский смех – больше я его не услышу. Тот, другой, будет слушать его вместо меня, если ей с ним весело. Анна стала чужой. Мы расстаемся, чтобы идти разн
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Женщине необходимо восхищение мужчины, чтобы расцвести.
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Последнее слово действительно всегда остается за жизнью.
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Самый надежный тест – бассейн. У бассейна ясно, кто есть кто: интеллектуалка уткнется в книгу в купальной шапочке, спортсменка устроит матч по водному поло, склонные к нарциссизму позаботятся о загаре, подверженные ипохондрии намажутся защитным кремом… Если женщина у бассейн
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У смерти припасено для нас больше сюрпризов, чем у жизни.
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Как человек узнает, что он стар? Он стар, если три дня приходит в себя после такой пьянки. Стар, если даже покончить с собой толком не может. Стар, если портит компанию кислой рожей, затесавшись среди молодняка. Их жизнерадостность действует на нервы, их иллюзии утомляют. Человек стар, если ска
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Чтобы влюбиться по-настоящему, я слишком пресыщен; чтобы оставаться равнодушным – слишком чувствителен.
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Супруги ужинают, любовники обедают. Если увидите парочку в бистро в полдень, попробуйте щелкнуть фотоаппаратом – нарветесь на неприятности. Попробуйте сделать то же самое с другой парочкой вечером – вам улыбнутся и примут картинные позы под вашей вспышкой.
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Мы покидаем сначала родительское гнездо, а потом, бывает, и свое первое семейное гнездо тоже, и всегда при этом ощущаем одну и ту же боль, потому что чувствуем себя навсегда осиротевшими.
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Чем задаваться вопросом, сколько живет любовь, наслаждаться минутой – не лучший ли способ ее продлить?
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Ну как, спрашивается, прожить всю жизнь с одним человеком в обществе тотального порхания? В эпоху, когда кумиров, президентов, искусства, пол, религию меняют как перчатки? С какой стати чувству под названием любовь быть исключением из всеобщей шизофрении?
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Женщину надо легонько поглаживать подушечками пальцев, касаться ее кончиком языка; как я мог догадаться, если никто никогда мне этого не говорил?
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Чтобы быть счастливым, человеку нужна уверенность в завтрашнем дне, а чтобы быть влюбленным, нужна как раз неуверенность. Счастье зиждется на спокойствии, тогда как любви необходимы сомнения и тревоги.
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Не получается у меня переломить судьбу, не из того она теста, которое легко лепить.
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Мы женимся точно так же, как сдаем экзамены на аттестат зрелости или на водительские права: всегда одни и те же рамки, в которые надо втиснуться, чтобы быть как все, как все, КАК ВСЕ любой ценой. Если лучше всех не получается, стараешься хоть не отставать, а то, чего доброго, окажешьс
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Я сказал ей, что мне очень плохо, а я давно заметил, что ни одна женщина не может устоять, когда ухажер ее лучшей подруги говорит, что ему очень плохо. Должно быть, это пробуждает в них чувство долга: самоотверженная сестра милосердия дремлет в каждой.
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Вот она, величайшая драма нашего общества: даже богатые не вызывают больше зависти. Они заплыли жиром, они уродливы и вульгарны, их жены – одна сплошная подтяжка, по ним плачет тюрьма, их дети колются, у них мужицкие вкусы, они позируют для «Гала». Богатые сегодня забыли, что деньги – средство,
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Ему стукнуло тридцать: межеумочный возраст, когда ты слишком стар, чтобы быть молодым, и слишком молод, чтобы быть старым.
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Я, наверно, самый грустный человек, которого я встречал на своем веку.
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Кроме разве что убежавшего из кастрюльки молока, мало найдется на земле зрелищ более жалких, чем я.
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Сексуальная проблема папенькиных сынков состоит в том, что они с пеленок привыкли все получать, ничегошеньки не давая.
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Вот он, высший шик: есть, только когда ты голоден, пить, только когда тебе хочется, и трахаться, только когда у тебя стоит.
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Дышать и смотреть на тебя, больше ничего не надо, это навсегда, на всю жизнь и навеки, просто не верится, с ума сойти, как радость жизни нас распирает, со мной никогда такого не было, а ты чувствуешь то же, что чувствую я? Ты никогда не полюбишь меня так, как я тебя люблю, нет, э
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В каждой женщине что-то есть, порой хватает полуулыбки, рассеянного вздоха, подрагивающей ножки, выбившейся прядки волос. Даже в самой невзрачной дурнушке таится клад.
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Долго единственной целью моей жизни было саморазрушение. А потом мне вдруг захотелось счастья.
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Сильнее всех влюбляются самые отъявленные циники и пессимисты: это им на пользу.
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Я люблю тебя одну, и тебе придется с этим примириться, даже если ты не собираешься ничего менять в своей жизни. В твоем городе живет человек, который любит тебя и страдает, хочешь ты этого или нет.
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Я никогда не влюблялся. Это мое самое большое несчастье.
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Влюбиться — не самый лучший способ стать счастливым
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Так уж устроена жизнь: стоит вам почувствовать себя хоть чуточку счастливым, она не замедлит призвать вас к порядку
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Я не знаю, что готовит мне прошлое, но иду вперед, трепеща от ужаса и восторга, потому что выбора у меня нет, вперед, не так беспечно, как прежде, но вперед, несмотря — вперед, вопреки — вперед, и клянусь вам, это прекрасно!
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Наше поколение слишком поверхностно для брака. Нам жениться – все равно что в «Макдоналдс» сходить. А потом – порхаем. Ну как, спрашивается, прожить всю жизнь с одним человеком в обществе тотального порхания? В эпоху, когда кумиров, президентов, искусства, пол, религию меняют как
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Я никогда не останавливаюсь на достигнутом: если мне нравится девушка, я хочу влюбиться, влюбился — хочу ее поцеловать, поцеловал — хочу с ней переспать, переспал — хочу поселиться под одной крышей, живу под одной крышей — хочу жениться, женился — встречаю другую девушку, которая нравится. Мужч
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Утопиться бы в море, но слишком много народу катается на водных лыжах
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Все мои беды — от ребяческой неспособности угомониться, в тяге к новизне, от болезненной потребности вечно прельщаться тысячей невероятных возможностей, уготовленных будущим
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В наши дни Декарт не написал бы: » Я мыслю — значит, я существую». Он бы сказал: » я один — значит, я мыслю».
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Через три года он и она должны расстаться или покончить с собой, или обзавестись детьми — три возможных способа расписаться в своем поражении.
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Не то удивительно, что наша жизнь – пьеса, а то, что в ней так мало действующих лиц.
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Я смотрю, как муха бьется в окно моей комнаты, и думаю, что она совсем как я: между ней и действительностью – стекло.
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Что хуже – заниматься любовью, не любя, или любить, не занимаясь любовью?
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Mы нe имeeм пpaвa oткaзывaтьcя oт cчacтья. Бoльшинcтвy людeй тaкoгo вeзeния нe выпaдaeт. Oни нpaвятcя дpyг дpyгy, нo нe влюбляютcя. Или влюбляютcя, нo y ниx нe клeитcя в пocтeли. Или в пocтeли вce xopoшo, нo им нeчeгo cкaзaть дpyг дpyгy пoтoм. Abs
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— Не влюблены в своих отцов только фригидные женщины и лесбиянки.
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Когда я попросил Алису выйти за меня замуж, она дала ответ, полный нежности, романтики, проницательности, красоты и теплоты.- Нет.
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Нам часто говорят, что по прошествии времени страсть превращается в «нечто иное», более прочное и прекрасное. Что это «иное» и есть Любовь с большой буквы, чувство, конечно, не такое трепетное, зато и менее незрелое. Буду называть вещи своими именами: я это «иное» в гро
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Я думал, будто ищу любовь, пока в один прекрасный день не понял, что хочется мне прямо противоположного — держаться от нее подальше.
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И вот я берусь за перо, чтобы сказать, что люблю её, что у неё самые длинные на свете волосы и моя жизнь утонула в них, а если тебе это смешно, мне жаль тебя, её глаза для меня, она — это я, я — это она, и когда она кричит, я тоже кричу, и все, что
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Ты подходишь к проблеме не с того конца. Чем больше жаждешь увлечься, тем сильнее разочарование, когда все кончается. Нет, надо стремиться скучать, тогда будешь приятно удивлён, если вдруг окажется, что еще не обрыдло.
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Я могу сколько угодно смаковать свою месть, всё равно «я остался один, с сердцем полным подаянний».
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Кажется это гормональное или биохимическое, что ли Через три года все кончается, и ничего не попишешь. Печально, ты не находишь?Нет, пупсик. Любовь живет столько, сколько ей положено, мне это безразлично.
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Мы ломали романтическую комедию только для того, чтобы испытать оргазм посильнее.
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Всякая красота вырождается в уродство, удел юности — увядать, наша жизнь — медленное загнивание, мы умираем каждый день. К счастью, у нас всегда остается Моцарт.Скольким людям Моцарт спас жизнь?
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Я сокрушен, раздавлен, я жду у твоих ног — добей меня.Есть такой предел боли, когда теряешь всякую гордость.
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Она меняет мужчин, как каналы по ящику. Надеюсь хоть, что я — «Евроспорт».
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Он смотрит на меня с жалостью.- Три года? Ну ты и хватил! Какой ужас! Трёх дней больше чем достаточно! Откуда ты взял эту чушь стригунок?
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Счастье — такая чудовищная штука, что если вы сами от него не лопнете, то уж как минимум пары-тройки убийств оно от вас потребует.
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Надо было ей умереть, чтобы я понял, до чего она мне дорога.Ладно, проехали – Если я не бросаю тех, кого люблю, так они сами уходят на тот свет.
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В первый год покупают мебель.На второй год мебель переставляют.
На третий год мебель делят.
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С рождения до смерти наша жизнь идет на автопилоте, и надо обладать сверхчеловеческим мужеством, чтобы изменить ее ход.
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Мы улыбаемся римлянам просто так, без причины, нас принимают за даунов, за сектантов, мы из секты Улыбающихся в Левитации.
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Когда имеешь все и сразу, рано или поздно начинаешь ждать катастрофы как избавления.
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Кадрить на вечеринках несложно: главное – сокращать расстояние. Надо уметь завоевывать позиции, сантиметр за сантиметром, так, чтобы это не слишком бросалось в глаза. Если вы положили глаз на девушку, подойдите к ней (дистанция 2 метра). Если она все еще нравится вам на этом расстоянии, за
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Я пишу не для того, чтобы просить тебя прийти, я пишу, чтобы предупредить: я всегда буду ждать.
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Ее бесконечно длинные тонкие ноги (в количестве двух штук) служат опорой соблазнительному бюсту, оснащенному аппетитными яблочками (в таком же количестве).
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Глупо желать незыблемой жизни. Мы хотим, чтобы время остановилось, чтобы любовь была вечной и ничто никогда не угасало, – хотим всю жизнь нежиться в золотом детстве. Мы возводим стены, чтобы оградить себя, и эти самые стены станут когда-нибудь тюрьмой.
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Счастье — это такая вещь, или ты сам от него лопнешь, либо как минимум, пару тройку убийств оно от вас потребует
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Все кончено В. С. Е К. О. Н. Ч. Е. Н. О с ума сойти: я так легко написал эти десять букв, а принять их смысл не в состоянии
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Мне нравится сравнивать себя с механизмами, потому что механизмы легко починить.
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Сказки бывают только в сказках. Правда куда пригляднее. Правда вообще всегда неприглядна, поэтому все и лгут.
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Однажды несчастье вошло в мою жизнь, а я как полный идиот, до сих пор не могу его выжить.
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Я слишком долго лгал самому себе, чтобы не начать рано или поздно лгать еще кому-то.
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Брак — это коллосальная афера, чудовищное надувательство, чистой воды обман, на который мы купимся, как малые дети.
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Моя любовь — с маленькой буквы, зато она большая; век у нее недолгий, но уж когда она есть, ее всеми печенками чувствуешь.
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Любовь — это временное повышение уровня дофамина, норадреналина, пролактина, люлиберина и окситацина. Малюсенькая молекула фенил этиламина (ФЭА) вызывает определенные ощущения: приподнятое настроение, возбужденность, эйфорию. Любовь с первого взгляда — это в нейронах лимбической системы пр
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Всегда как-то неловко выглядеть подонком на людях.
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Из 558 типов человеческих обществ моногамны только 24%. Большинство видов животных полигамны. Об инопланетянах и говорить нечего: Галактическая Хартия Х23 давным давно запретила моногамию на всех планетах типа В#871.
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У комара век — один день, у розы — три. У кошки век тринадцать лет, у любви – три года. И ничего не попишешь. Сначала год страсти, потом год нежности и, наконец, год скуки.В первый год говорят: «Если ты уйдешь, я ПОКОНЧУ с собой».
На второй год говорят: «Если ты уйдешь, мне будет больно, но я выживу».
На третий год говорят: «Если ты уйдешь, я обмою это шампанским».
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Мы будем друзьями. Друзьями, которые держатся за руки, загорают, целуясь взасос, нежно овладевают друг другом, прислонясь к стене виллы и слушая Эла Грина, – но все же друзьями.
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В нашей среде не задаются никакими вопросами, пока не доживут до тридцати лет, а тогда бывает уже поздно на них отвечать. Вот как это происходит: тебе двадцать лет, ты делаешь глупость-другую, потом вдруг просыпаешься — а тебе уже тридцать. Вот и все: никогда больше твой возраст
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Как же я не встречал ее раньше? Какого черта я был знаком со столькими людьми, если эта девушка не входила в их число?
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Однажды я заглянул в голубые глаза, и мне привиделась в них вечность.
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очень надо было всю ночь убегать от самого себя, чтоб под конец быть настигнутым у себя дома?
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Брак — преступление, потому что он убивает тайну. Вы встречаете сказочное создание, женитесь на нем, и вдруг оказывается, что сказочное создание куда-то делось — теперь это ваша жена. ВАША жена.
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Отрицают любовь как раз те, кто больше всех в ней нуждается: в каждом Вальмоне скрыт неисправимый романтик, которого хлебом не корми, дай забренчать на ***лине.
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Мы изменили обетам, по очереди.Мы расстались так же, как поженились: не понимая толком почему.
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Я наконец понял фразу Камю: «Надо представить Сизифа счастливым». Он хотел сказать, что мы всю жизнь делаем одни и те же глупости, но это, быть может, и есть счастье. Придется мне освоиться с этой мыслью. Полюбить мое несчастье, потому что оно щедро на рецидивы.
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Самоубийцы — действительно несносные люди. Моя жена вернула мне свободу, а я, видите ли, на нее в претензии. Я в претензии за то, что она оставила меня наедине с самим собой. За то, что позволила мне начать все заново. За то, что заставила меня отвечать за свои поступки. За то,
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Вот она, значит, какая, взрослая жизнь: строить замки из песка, потом прыгать на них двумя ногами и строить снова, опять и опять, прекрасно зная, что океан их все равно слизнет.
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Я бросал жену, а прощался с самим собой. Бросить Анну — это полбеды, куда тяжелее поставить крест на нашей истории, которая была прекрасна. То же самое, наверное, чувствует человек, отказавшийся от замысла, с которым долго носился: разочарование и облегчение одновременно.
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Алкоголь слегка горчит,День прошел-и день убит.
Захудалый музыкант
На мосту
Моей жизни заиграл
Пустоту.
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Может быть, Анна, может быть, со временем, позже, много позже, мы встретимся где-нибудь, где будет светло; будут люди вокруг, деревья, солнечный луч, да мало ли что еще, птичьи трели, как в день нашей свадьбы, и среди шумной толпы мы узнаем друг друга и с грустью вспомним давно ушедше
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Почему вместо счастья, которым меня поманили, мне достались одни сложности и раздрай?
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В любви положение становится по-настоящему тревожным, когда пара переходит от порнофильма к детскому лепету. Заметно становится очень быстро: даже голоса ломаются за несколько месяцев совместной жизни. Мужественный мачо с зычным басом начинает сюсюкать, как младенец на коленях у мамочки. Рокова
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обрыдли все эти телки, с которыми спишь, а просыпаться не хочется.
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она удивленно плакала. оторопь человека, в двадцать секунд потерявшего все.
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Фредерик Бегбедер. Любовь живет три года
Никто не задает себе вопросов типа: удалось ли нам взять от жизни лучшее? Не следовало ли прожить ее иначе? Живем ли мы с тем человеком, в том месте? Что может предложить нам этот мир? С рождения до смерти наша жизнь идет на автопилоте, и надо обладать сверхчеловеческим мужеством, чтобы изменить ее ход.
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Фредерик Бегбедер. Любовь живет три года
Обратный отсчет уже начался… В один прекрасный день ты заскучаешь, я сорвусь, ты будешь пилить меня, что я не закрыл очко в сортире, а я – сидеть у телевизора весь вечер до окончания программ, и ты изменишь мне, как изменяешь сейчас Антуану.
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Обратный отсчет уже начался… В один прекрасный день ты заскучаешь, я сорвусь, ты будешь пилить меня, что я не закрыл очко в сортире, а я – сидеть у телевизора весь вечер до окончания программ, и ты изменишь мне, как изменяешь сейчас Антуану.
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Никто не задает себе вопросов типа: удалось ли нам взять от жизни лучшее? Не следовало ли прожить ее иначе? Живем ли мы с тем человеком, в том месте? Что может предложить нам этот мир? С рождения до смерти наша жизнь идет на автопилоте, и надо обладать сверхчеловеческим мужеством, что
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Если ты беден, по крайней мере, можешь уговаривать себя, мол, будь у тебя бабки, все пошло бы на лад.
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Я бы с удовольствием превратился в видеомагнитофон, чтобы в скоростном режиме стереть эти кадры, которые не дают мне покоя.
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Я понял одну вещь: чтобы любовь не прошла, в каждом должно быть что-то неуловимое. Не допустить пресности – нет, это не значит подстегивать себя искусственно созданными дурацкими встрясками, просто надо уметь удивляться чуду каждого дня. Быть щедрым и не мудрить. Ты точно влюблен, когда на
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Я долго не мог себе признаться, что женился для окружающих, что женитьба — поступок, который совершают не для себя. Мы женимся, чтобы позлить друзей или порадовать родителей или ради того и другого вместе, а иногда наоборот.
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Я больше не улыбаюсь. Это выше моих сил. Я умер и похоронен. У меня не будет детей. Мертвецы не производят на свет потомства. Я мертвец, пожимающий руки знакомым в кафе. Очень общительный мертвец и очень замерзший. Я, наверно, самый грустный человек, которого я вст
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Он решает впредь перед выходом мастурбировать, чтобы больше не попутал бес вытворять невесть что.
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Надо разрушить миф о вечной любви, основу нашего общества, причину наших бед.
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Впрочем, статистика говорит сама за себя: страсть длится в среднем 317,5 дня (что, интересно знать, происходит в последние полдня…)
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Надо постараться не забыть эти минуты, чтобы было что вспомнить, когда все станет плохо.
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Откуда этот странный пунктик, почему надо из кожи вон лезть, чтобы быть счастливым непременно с одним-единственным человеком? Из 558 типов человеческих обществ моногамны только 24%. Большинство видов животных полигамны. Об инопланетянах и говорить нечего: Галактическая Хартия Х23 давным-давно з
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Брачный тоталитаризм продолжает каждый день увековечивать несчастье из поколения в поколение. Нас заманивают в эти сети во имя надуманных и затасканных принципов с единственной тщательно скрываемой целью снова и снова приумножать наследство горя и лицемерия. Ломать жизни – п
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Родня – это тяжко, даже когда она ваша, что уж говорить о чужой
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И считайте меня смешным – на здоровье, клал я на вас
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Мы не имеем права отказываться от счастья. Большинству людей такого везения не выпадает. Они нравятся друг другу, но не влюбляются. Или влюбляются, но у них не клеится в постели. Или в постели все хорошо, но им нечего сказать друг другу потом. А у нас с тобой все есть, вот только нет
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Нам надо расстаться. Лучше быть несчастным без тебя, чем с тобой.
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Одиночество стало какой-то стыдной болезнью. Почему все так его чураются? Да потому, что оно заставляет думать.
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Нельзя ли хоть раз влюбиться так, чтобы это не закончилось в крови, в сперме и в слезах?
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— К тебе поедем или к нам?- Вы к себе, а я к себе.
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Изменять жене – само по себе не такое уж большое зло, если она об этом никогда не узнает. Я даже думаю, многие мужья сознательно ходят по грани, чтобы вновь почувствовать азарт, как в ту пору, когда они обольщали своих избранниц. В этом смысле адюльтер вполне может признанием в с
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Эта наша встреча открыла мне одну вещь: оказывается, лучшее, что можно сделать на похоронах — влюбиться.
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что плохо в браке по любви — он сразу берет слишком большую высоту
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А ведь искать то, искать всю жизнь без устали, надо женщину, которая никогда не будет вашей!
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Почему люди так убиваются, умирая. У смерти припасено для нас больше сюрпризов, чем у жизни.
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