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— Обожаю твои волосы!- Это парик.
— Обожаю твои голубые глаза!
— Это линзы.
— Обожаю твои груди!
— Это «Wonderbra».
— Обожаю твои ноги!
— Ну слава богу, хоть один заслуженный комплимент!
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Самые безумные — это разумеется, те, кто считает себя самыми нормальными.
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Мы стали равны, рабы обращаются на «ты» к господам — эдакая оргия равноправия.
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Если дело уже сделано, это не значит, что больше не нужно ничего делать!
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Не реклама копирует жизнь, а жизнь копирует рекламу.
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Торговая марка выиграла у людей битву в World War III. Особенность Третьей мировой войны состоит в том, что ее продули все страны одновременно.
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Каждый человек таит в душе любовную печаль, дремлющую до поры до времени.
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Я рада, что люди находят меня красивой, но в общем-то это всего лишь вопрос математики, то есть количества миллиметров между моими глазами и подбородком.
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Если вы родились за несколько лет до смены календаря, это еще не повод, чтобы корчить из себя важную персону.
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Говорят, в любовной паре один страдает, а другой скучает: по мне, лучше быть страдальцем, потому что ему-то, как ни крути, не скучно, тогда как тот, кто скучает, страдает все равно
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Империю йогурта охраняют строже, чем военный объект.
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я воображал себя кем-то вроде либерального Че Гевары, мятежником в пиджаке от Гуччи. Вот именно: я был адъютантом командующего Гуччи! Viva Гуччи!
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Внезапно возомнил себя такой важной птицей, точно наносил визит самому президенту республики, а не какому-то старперу-вэкакашнику в полосатой рубашке.
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Реклама — это техника запудривания мозгов, изобретенная в 1899 г. американцем Альбертом Дэвисом Ласкером, а в тридцатые годы нашего века ее блестяще усовершенствовал некий Йозеф Геббельс — с целью убедить немецкий народ посжигать всех евреев.
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Евро был изобретен специально для того, чтобы непристойно высокие заработки богачей выглядели в шесть раз скромнее.
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Они сами не знали, куда идут, но шли и шли, беспечно посвистывая,-после них хоть потоп (притом кислотный потоп)!
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Никогда не считайте людей дураками, но никогда не забывайте, что они и есть дураки.
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В идеале, при демократии следовало использовать потрясающую власть массмедиа для того, чтобы будить умственные способности, вместо того, чтобы давить их.
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Впервые в истории планеты Земля все люди во всех странах задались единой целью: заработать столько денег, чтобы уподобиться героям рекламы.
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Я предпочитаю быть вышвырнутым из фирмы, нежели из жизни..
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Я приобщаю вас к наркотику под названием «новинка», а вся прелесть новинок состоит в том, что они очень недолго остаются таковыми.
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Терроризм, именуемый «новинкой», помогает мне впаривать вам пустоту
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Люди все реже говорят друг с другом;и вообще, когда кто-то решается наконец сказать тебе правду в лицо, это значит, что уже почти слишком поздно.
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— Моя жена терпеть не может сюрпризы.- Именно поэтому она и вышла за вас?
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Стоит сесть вместе с ними за стол в их унылых мраморных кондиционированных залах, и ты начинаешь содействовать всеобщему оболваниванию.
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— Скажи-ка.. Ты, случаем не переутомлен?- Да, я переутомлен с тех пор, как родился.
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Эй, вы, меня тошнит от вас, жалких рабов, покорно выполняющих любой мой каприз!
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Это не Франция обыграла Бразилию в финале Чемпионата мира, это «Adidas» победил «Nike»!
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Человек — всего лишь случайность в межзвездной пустоте
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То, что люди именуют нежностью, я называю страхом разлуки.
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Мы все — проститутки. Девяносто пять процентов людей согласились бы переспать с кем угодно за десять тысяч франков.
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В любви действует принцип домино — первое падение влечет за собой все остальные.
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В 1998 году рекламные инвестиции в мире достигли 2340 миллиардов франков (даже выраженная в евро, эта сумма впечатляет). И могу вас заверить, что за такие денежки продается абсолютно все – особенно ваша душа.
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Я-тот самый тип, что продаёт вам разное дерьмо. Тот, что заставляет вас мечтать о вещах, которых у вас никогда не будет. О вечно лазурных небесах, о неизменно соблазнительных красотках, об идеальном счастье, подкрашенном в PhotoShop`e
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Сердце, не разбитое любовью, еще не сердце. Лёгкие ждут туберкулёза, дабы почувствовать, что они существуют.
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Власть никогда не дают тем, кто способен ею воспользоваться.
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чтобы перестать умирать, достаточно перестать жить
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Боже мой, до чего же она хороша, когда плачет и сморкается! Если мужчины причиняют столько горя женщинам, то именно по этой причине: женщин необычайно красят слёзы.
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И если я вечно уходил из дому по вечерам, то лишь потому, что готовился к бессоным ночам у твоей кроватки.
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Иисус Христос — лучший в мире рекламист, автор многочисленных бессмертных слоганов, как то: «Возлюби ближнего своего», «Простите им, ибо не ведают, что творят», «И последние станут первыми», «В начале было слово» ах нет, пардон,
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Разве ты не видела, что я ждал от тебя лишь одного: чтобы ты заставила меня помучаться, как в самом начале, от боли в лёгких?!
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Будьте бдительны: одна ложь может скрывать за собой другую.
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Теперь ты обедаешь в одиночестве. Раньше у тебя было куча друзей, теперь их напрочь нету. Это означает, что их и не было никогда.
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Почему мы понимаем, что любим человека, только после того, как он ушёл?
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И вот в тот миг, когда она затворяет дверь, ты уже остро тоскуешь по каждой проведённой с нею минуте.
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Вот, значит, как у нас с тобой всё кончилось. А я только-только начал тебя любить.
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Ещё одна затяжка, и он по уши втюрится в чей-нибудь спинной позвонок
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Проститутки занимаются с тобой сексом, ровно ничего не чувствуя, доставляют наслаждение, не причиняя душевной боли.
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Мы накачиваемся «дурью»: нам уже мало алкоголя и музыки, чтобы разговаривать друг с другом
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Если хочешь удержаться на поверхности воды, необходимо, чтобы под ногами был провал.
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Чтобы починить машину, нужно нанять опытного механика. Чтобы построить дом, желательно иметь дело с опытным архитектором. Заболев, необходимо обратиться к опытному врачу. Так почему же физическая любовь не нуждается в опытных специалистах?!
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Слишком уж он завяз в эпохе 80 х со своим коксом, черными костюмами, бешеными бабками и дешевым цинизмом. С тех пор мода ушла далеко вперед
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Креатив — не то ремесло, где ты должен оправдывать свою зарплату; это такое ремесло, где твоя зарплата оправдывает тебя. И карьера креатора, так же эфемерна, как карьера директора теле программ.
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Что такое счастье? Это белый песок, это лазурные небеса и соленое море.
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Вообще-то любой автор, заводясь новой книгой, должен прикинуться эдаким симпомпончиком, но я не желаю скрывать правду: я нелицеприятный рассказчик. Более того, я представляю собой вполне мерзопакостную сволочь, способную загадить всё, до чего дотронусь.
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Если людям без конца твердить, что их жизнь не имеет смысла, они в какой-то момент впадают в полное безумие, начинают метаться и кричать; им трудно представить себе, что их существование абсолютно бесцельно: как же это, неужели мы рождаемся на свет и живем ни за чем; а потом
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И вот она целует тебя — напоследок, — и ты выпускаешь ее хрупкое запястье. Ты даешь ей уйти, потому что ты всегда всем даешь уйти.
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В конечном счете они влюбляются друг в друга, ибо когда долго занимаешься любовью, к этому занятию рано или поздно примешиваются чувства.
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Люди кончают самоубийством оттого, что получают по почте одну рекламу.
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Мир ирреален — за исключением тех моментов, когда он скучен.
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Проблема современного человека не в том, что он зол. Напротив, в большинстве случаев он по чисто практическим соображениям старается быть добрым и любезным. Просто ему не нравится скучать. Скука приводит его в ужас, тогда как на самом деле нет ничего более полезного и благот
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Стоит тебе впасть в депрессию — а ты пребываешь в ней постоянно, — как спешишь ублажить себя ультрафиолетом. В результате, чем сильнее ты хандришь, тем больше загораешь.
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Каждый, кто подавляет в себе любовь, превращается в ничтожество и заболевает.
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Марк и Софи не подходили друг другу, но им было хорошо друг с другом, а такое встречается гораздо реже.
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— О`кей, за это я тебе сегодня сделаю бесплатный минет.- Даже и не думай! Неужели ты еще не усекла, что перед тобой новый Робин Гуд?
— Это как понимать?
— Очень даже просто: я отнимаю у богатых, чтобы раздавать девкам.
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В тот день, когда все люди на земле согласятся скучать, мир будет спасен.
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Почему нам становится не по себе от романтики? Мы стыдимся своих чувств. Шарахаемся от высоких слов, как от чумы. Не воспевать же собственную неспособность любить.
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— Я терпеть не могу фразы, которые начинаются со слов «я терпеть не могу».
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Ваши желания больше вам не принадлежат — я навязываю вам свои собственные. Я запрещаю вам желать как бог на душу положит. Ваше желание должно быть результатом многомиллиардных инвестиций в евровалюте. Это я решаю сегодня, чего вы захотите завтра.
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Пропаганда утрачивает силу, как только становится явной.
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— Ты чудовище.- Да, я чудовище, и ты меня любишь, а значит, ты такая же дуреха, как невеста Франкенштейна.
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Отныне единственное начальство, с коим я готов заключить бессрочный контракт, это Господь Бог.
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Ты ходишь к проституткам не из цинизма, о нет, — ты идешь к ним из страха перед любовью.
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Когда девушка сообщает своему парню, что ждет от него ребенка, у парня НЕМЕДЛЕННО возникает вопрос — но не тот, о котором вы подумали: «Хочу ли я этого ребенка?», а совсем другой: «Хочу ли я остаться с этой девушкой?».
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Стажеры — это современные рабы: им не платят, на них ездят как хотят, их можно в любой момент вышвырнуть вон, они разносят кофе и бегают к факсу — в общем, одноразовые существа, совсем как бритвенные станочки «Bic».
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Я любил смотреть, как ты спишь, даже если ты только прикидывалась спящей, когда я возвращался домой за полночь, пьяный в дым; я пересчитывал твои ресницы; иной раз мне чудилось, что ты улыбаешься.
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Я знаю много злых мужчин, которые притворяются добренькими, но ты — редкая птица: добрый, а изображаешь злого.
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Нельзя одновременно прогибаться под мир и менять его.
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— Все это, конечно, хорошо, но надо бы добавить перчику!- А соли не маловато?
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Все волшебные сказки завершаются одной и той же фразой: «Они жили счастливо и народили много-много детей». Точка, конец. Но никто не расскажет нам, что было дальше, а было так: прекрасный принц, узнав, что дети не от него, начинает пить мертвую, потом бросает принцессу и уходит к
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Но для того чтобы понять, что счастье не в деньгах, нужно сперва узнать и то и другое – счастье и деньги.
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Близорукость – твоя последняя роскошь. Все вокруг волшебно расплывается, прямо как в рекламном клипе.
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Прямо не верится, до какого идиотства можно довести пятидесятилетнего мужика, имея тонкую талию и умея работать языком.
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Закон воспрещает упоминать в эфире торговые марки, «во избежание скрытой рекламы», а на самом деле, чтобы помешать вам критиковать их.
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Безработные несчастны без работы, работающие несчастны от ее избытка. Л В течении недели они занимались любовью по разу в день. Они уже вступали в тот возраст, когда и это многовато. Все вдруг показалось таким простым и понятным.
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Всякий раз, когда этот тип произносит слово «рынок», он подразумевает «навар». И если он говорит об «исследовании рынка», это нужно понимать как «исследование навара»; «экономика рынка» означает «экономика навара».
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Соскочить — пусть ненадолго — с карусели повседневности иногда бывает жизненно важно даже для трудоголиков.
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Имея все эти вещи и ведя столь роскошный образ жизни, ты, по идее, должен быть счастлив. Так почему же счастья нет? Почему ты без конца набиваешь себе нос белой отравой? Как можно быть несчастным при банковском счете в два миллиона евро? Если уж ты стоишь над краем пропасти, то кто же там,
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Пока я пойму, о чем ты спрашиваешь, будет уже поздно отвечать.
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Если ты вернешься, я подарю тебе «New Beetle»*. Конечно, это идиотское предложение, но тут есть и твоя вина: с тех пор как ты ушла, я стал серьезен до безобразия. И вообще, я вдруг понял, что другой такой девушки на свете нет. Откуда вывод: я тебя люблю.
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Мы с ней вполне могли бы быть счастливы, если бы я не думал все время о другой. Ну почему я так по-дурацки устроен, что мне нужны именно те люди, которых со мной нет?!
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Теперь он приобщался возвышенного, касался вечного, смаковал жизнь, воспарял над никчемной суетой, постигал простоту бытия.
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Женщины – это такие существа, которых либо бросают, либо боятся бросить.
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Мне давно хочется разгадать эту тайну: как, каким образом на гребне нашей циничной эпохи рекламу провозгласили верховной властительницей? Никогда еще за последние две тысячи лет слабоумные кретины вроде меня не обладали таким могуществом
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Я ее больше не люблю, но всегда буду любить, хотя любил недостаточно сильно, притом что всегда любил, не любя так, как нужно было любить
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Скоро государства сменятся фирмами. И мы перестанем быть гражданами той или иной страны, мы будем жить в торговых марках – Майкрософтии или Макдоналдии – и зваться келвинкляйнитянами или ивсенлоранцами.
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Лишь тонко организованные существа испытывают потребность платить за любовь, дабы избежать риска страдать от любви.
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все влюбленные заболевают туберкулезом, недаром же от него умерли Чехов, Кафка, Д. Г. Лоуренс, Фредерик Шопен, Джордж Оруэлл и святая Тереза из Лизье; что касается Камю, Моравиа, Будара, Марии Башкирцевой и Кэтрин Мэнсфилд, то разве смогли бы они написать именно такие книги без этой
И наконец вспомните: Дама с камелиями умерла отнюдь не от инфаркта миокарда – эту кару Бог насылает на загнанных честолюбцев, а не на печальных влюбленных.
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Нехорошо, что ты сегодня такой хороший. Мне больше нравится, когда ты притворяешься злым.
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Смерть настолько неизбежна, что всех застаёт врасплох. Как узнать про этот день — не последний ли он? Вы думаете, что у вас уйма времени впереди. А потом вдруг — здрасьте пожалуйста! — вы тонете, вы утонули, ваше время истекло.
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Чем смелей я играю с вашим подсознанием, тем безропотнее вы мне покоряетесь
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